Nonsensical Revery

Sunday Girl

2011-12-09T03:29:00.000Z

I found my muse (I shall call thee 'Sky'. yes like the internet provider *scoff veeery original I'll say). Nonetheless, what an amazing feeling, nuff said, and its half past 3 in the sodding morning!

I took this with my IG, tech does you wonder, huh.

Incidentally, I gained back my interest for japanese stuff but not to a substantial point, (Thank God).

Out!

John Mayer and Keith Urban - ´Til summer comes around

2011-09-05T19:11:00.000+01:00

Reflections

2011-07-29T16:15:00.000+01:00

Chilly touch. silky, flat surface. salient stingy edge. Please...

2011-07-29T16:12:00.000+01:00

They are stunning!

Hauntingly captivating.

Sneak break

2011-04-26T14:59:00.000+01:00

The light that reflected on the ceiling above seem dimmer, even without the ticking sound of the clock, it was clear that the time has passed for quite sometime since I arrived.

With a faint sound from outside and occasional squeaking door hinge, clacking sound of those made when walking like a ogre (If I ever knew one in this life), coughing, and others different of odd sounds I dont have the enthusiasm to describe, I'd say the acoustic is all messed up, but for all those supposedly "silent zone", the only sound I let myself listen to is the rather loud music through my wesc.

I think I like being here. The fact I successfully seized two tables and chairs without people looking at me aggravatingly rather the look of understanding painted on their expression as they passed by (mostly could not careless)gave me the satisfaction immensely, yup I like being here.

2 weeks left, procrastination? Perhaps, I will go with c'est la vie. I have been told life is like an escalator, there are times when you are down and contrariwise, but the irony is it keeps on moving even if you were to stop the effort.

p/s: When I was approaching at the end of the seatings row, I noticed all the books I piled up on the the top table was reduced to more than half of its volumes, standing there bewildered and in skeptical for a moment I thought someone had move all my stuff and replaced with pathetic state of only ONE red and white strip weekend bag and a few inferior sheets of A4s, as I was about to the ask the occupant near by, I realized I was at the wrong side of the floor, hmmm.

note: ughh! the photos are out of order B[

OneRepublic - Secrets

2011-02-16T18:17:00.000Z

Believe in the power of creation!!!

2011-01-28T00:22:00.000Z

Still squealing at Mamoru's parts ("My Love" "Urgh.." *changed outfit to Prince Endymion ) <3_<3

Unwell

2010-12-12T23:58:00.000Z

Its been long since I have stop indulging in the therapeutic alone time. I used to like reading books, fictional one especially just because its my escapade from my plain somewhat barren real life. Although, I was very happy and I was full of dreams. I used to enjoy drawing and sometime if I was in very lively mood I would do a bit of step-up from just using a pencil and sketch book. I was passionate about anything to do with japanese from food, culture, shinto belief and mostly manga/anime. I would always argued with my elders about the "fun" and intriguing it is from their communism history impact to our country (I think racism starts from having countries authoritarian possessive histories). I complete stop that right after my summer ended. Part of me suddenly just died there. I think it is dying before that but I do feel maybe it completely died from that end of summer. I am not yearning for that past but I think I haven't forgiven yet. Who and what exactly I m still not sure.

I also once believe we can do anything, anything that we think we can't is just an excuse to avoid... what?

Am I happy compared to my life before? Do I need to see which is "more" in that? I need to know what/where/when went wrong. I do know it didn't started as "sudden", it all begins by my gradual decisions whether it is a wrong one or mistake one, probably karma as well.

12.12.2010

Bedhair

2010-11-03T22:08:00.000Z

Applying architectural term into Mon cherie's maddening displeasing morning hair.

Front Elevation/ Plan View

Side Elevation

Uh-oh!

Home

2010-09-02T19:41:00.000+01:00

I supposed I'm a little too excited, I feel like brand new all of the sudden. Well, not sudden to be honest. I finally getting two amazingly considerate Imperial girls to be my housemates, and hopefully a place we all decidedly satisfy with. I already saw one, and I'm praying Fara would feel the same way as I am about the location and condition. I know its a couple station further away from the original area. But taking into the account all the pros, I dearly hope she wouldn't mind the cons of traveling.

I cant stop day dreaming though especially about Ridhwan coming to stay over the vacations *giggling like a school girl. I'm not gonna go into detail since I once read somewhere what you put on the net stays forever which leads to invitation for the psychotic stalker to do some ummmm stalking, *again giggling hehehehhee.

Anyyyway, that is not why I'm posting new entry. I promised mon cherie I write something new (of course about him) and promised to myself since a couple of weeks ago but haven't got around to it, so here. Afterall, I can't sleep after 2 and half hour of POC3 with Cherie, the remaining 30 mins we slept until 1am, so while waiting for him to arrive home I might as well do this before anyone nags me to.

That's one of many reasons why i adore him perfectly. Aside from opening the passenger seat's door and cherishing me when I unreasonable upset feeling a little bit weighting at the wee hour and god I tell you he was snoring but he still tried to comfort me. This is what you will have gentlemen when your women is being visited by aunt irma every once a month. It's not only that, the day I arrived malaysia we listened to some random songs on the radio and one of it was "She's the one" and we both admitted that is one of our all-time fav song. I started to be childish and complain that he never dedicated the song to me, he then defended with forgetting and unromantically "nah, amik la song ni". I would feel a tad disappointed and he would always surprise me by singing the song, I know then the song is for me. Eventhough the things he done are unconsciously, they are all the things I'm grateful with, because he is forgiving for all the selfish things I want of him.

I love you, my Ridhwan.

Portsmouth Joke

2010-08-05T03:24:00.000+01:00

At one of the bar. Unnie was looking at the menu, and of course it was mostly filled with alcoholic drinks.

Unnie : Hah! nie syg, tequilla shots

Fairuz-nii gave a short pause and the pretended to eagerly assent with the idea. I vaguely recall he replied something like "ade byk tu" (there's a lot there to choose from)

Unnie : yg ni.. tropical illusion... ni.. mojito.. and this..

Fairuz-nii: .............

Unnie : Hah! yang ni, perfect sex *with a cheeky smile*

Fairuz-nii : *smirking* daa ade.

=_= ;;

I kneel before You, O-the Infinite

2010-06-24T17:58:00.000+01:00

Dear Allah,

It's me again. Firstly as usual, I wish to convey my thanks to the luxury You have emphatically grant for my well-being so far and still remember me by giving chances to repent myself. However, I am still lost (not in my belief surely, I pray so much I would never hesitate when it comes to You, insyaallah, I love You with my entire being).

Well, I am not here to nag you ( I do them in my prayers). I am here to humbly request you to give Shi-chan Your Strength and Your Ni'mat especially at this current moments. She is chasing her dreams (which I know I need not tell you), thus please please please give her a chance once again. I do strongly believe You know what's best, I am just here to pray for her as well. She is afterall I believe a "guardian angel" (I couldn't find any other suitable word for friend+sister+champion+protector+soulmate+trustee) You have the most kindness to comply me with. I pray you will let me keep this friendship until the end.

Yours truly

Thara L.

p.s.: Forgive me for not writing these more refine as I should.

GMT-0 24June 6.23p.m.

Engineer makes promises that he breaks them.

2010-06-11T01:50:00.000+01:00

This is when I was reaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy UPSET with this p.e.r.s.o.n ^
BAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKA RIDHWAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! YOUUUUUUUUUUUU BIG
HUMANGOUS MEANIE!

I was literally :(, I didnt even laugh nor smile when you called me cute when I'm upset and you made a silly joke bout something something.

Dejectedly. I can't help but find you so irresistibly handsome here (=_///_=);;

2010-05-27T08:09:00.000+01:00

I was once been told not to let people see you cry, cause it will attracts pity.

I don't want to be pitied...

When you have seen so many tears, you become immune to it.

Everytime you ignore me, it made me feel bad
Everytime you got upset, it made me feel bad.
Everytime you point out my mistake, it made me feel bad.
Everytime you reason, it made me feel incompetent

Now everytime I cry, you get frustrated...

I promise I wont cry infront of you ever again, I'm sorry.

Teasing Forest

2010-05-20T15:17:00.000+01:00

Our bond is just a meeting between 2 worlds, a bridge we share but couldn't, wouldn't and never want to cross. Between us, we created a transparent wall, not to keep each other out but more to protect ourselves from each other...

But I'm facing a punishment, for letting myself be exposed at the front of your entrance, with naivety I forced myself to cross that bridge because I thought the grass is greener from the other side. Because of the difference, I didn't realize I am too square to fit among rectangular. I was a laughingstock, I guess. But I was saved... I think I was... ....... I think... I think... I still do think...

2010-04-18T18:49:00.001+01:00

Breath

To My Lost Dreamer

2010-03-30T15:54:00.001+01:00

If you're still alive, under the sea,
I'll cut off both my legs and become a fish.

If you come close enough for me to fall into the depths,
I'll become a shadow, wandering the endless darkness.

Entrancingly drifting in the air, my shimmering haze,
I only remembered the days that weren't granted to us.
You're not here.
I know that. I know that.

Rising, rising, the sun
Purifies this place.
The seal carved in blue
Is stolen away by the warm, warm wind.

If these words ever reach you,
I'll take my living body and throw it away.

A present that has erased my vivid wounds -
Your warmth that steals everything -
I longed for them, I searched for them
Even though they're illusions.

Vanishing, vanishing, your warmth
Follows me to this place.
Your arms that could wipe away even punishment -
I want to sleep embracing them.

Rising, rising, the sun
Purifies this place.
Your arms that could wipe away even punishment -
I want to sleep embracing them.

Vanishing, vanishing, your warmth
Follows me to this place.
The seal carved in blue
Is stolen away by the warm, warm wind.

The splinters of memories are rotting away.
The piercings that fill me aren't enough.
I'm forgetting - it's blurring -
Your voice disappears in the noise.

They're rotting, they're shedding -
The piercings that fill me aren't enough.
Without leaving a trace - I'm forgetting -
Your voice is becoming noise.

Yume no Tsubasa

2010-03-13T11:52:00.000Z

Even like this, the two of us came from faraway
We can’t return to your smile
From when you were young back then anymore

I love the world in which you laugh
And I want to be by your side, just that
With pains that I started to forget in my chest

time goes by
The flow of time changes the two of us
But the things that we’ve lost and things that we dream of, too
I’ll take your hand and remember them
I’m always by your side

Because I want to remember even the sad things
On your map
Please leave a page for me

The wind that blows from the future
You believed in it back then
Tomorrow, soar up higher…

time goes by
Even if time passes, I’m sure that unchanging things exist
Because I can’t reach them, because I want to find them
I’ll go search for the wings of dreams
Please be by my side, forever…

I’ll be by your side, forever…

j'adore

2010-03-09T20:53:00.000Z

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Look up

2010-02-20T01:57:00.000Z

It's astonishing how your feelings and perspectives can change easily just by making a list. I am talking about the pros and cons sort of list.

The first list of pro and cons I made is when I was 15-16 years old. That was when I had my first boyfriend. It's quirky as at that particular time I was considering the beautiful things he did for me also about him between the not so keen for my self-esteem and wounded thing for my emotions. In a more direct manner, it was a broke up list. And it's funny (but not in laughable manner), from the list I decided to give up the relationship.

I remember another list (but more like a statement) about the intern I did back home, just before I started my foundation. The list has became more like a venting, as in the end I gain a lot from the place which helped me tremendously afterwards. By the way, I tore it and threw it away (because my mom found out when she did the washing).

I supposed I learn something about me out of this is that I like to re-organize (whether it is my wardrobe, my drawers, my books alphabetically, my room, my boxes, or even my life) when I am at the lowest point. I need to feel a firm grip in my life when I am helpless.

I am still reading eat, pray and love. I intentionally read it slowly and take my own sweet time finishing it (I have this habit see, I wont try to finish a book if it's intrigued my mind poignantly). I supposed most women can connect to what she had gone through in the book (as I am right now).

"Guilt's just your ego's way of tricking you into thinking that you're making moral progress. Don't fall for it my dear." -- Vivian former Catholic nun in South Africa

Just like Elizabeth said, I too have been do a lot with guilt. I always weave my selfish wants and then reason them with guilt.

Don't look this way

2010-02-11T11:32:00.000Z

Time, tell me the truth

I don't like you.

It's not that you are every nice things

It's not that you are cheerful

It's the way you make me feel

I don't like you.

You make feel I'm wrong

I don't like you.

You captured my truth

Memories aren't cruel

Bond is

I can't escape

I don't like you.

You make me stay

I don't like you.

You refused to listen

I don't like you.

You ignored my pleas

I don't like you.

You silence my voice

I don't like you.

You shut my soul

I don't like you.

You push me to bleed

I don't like you.

You let me taste bitter salt

I don't like you.

You love one side of me

I don't like you

I am not you nor yours.

I wish I was not your last button

2010-02-10T03:14:00.000Z

Too many senses I can't breath

In this rush tide, I'm flooded.

I cant move

I cant reach

The only way is to follow

but...

I cant fit

I dont match

Will atleast once the tidal change it's course

Just once...

Give me a hole

So that the flow may consider to change

I wish I was the sky's favourite shooting star, not the sun

Just once again...

I know that you love me, but I wish you were in love with me.

2010-02-07T15:12:00.000Z

Fill these spaces up with days
in my room you can go you can stay

I can't sleep
I can't speak to you
I can't sleep

Now these years locked on my drawer
I'll open to see just to be sure

I can't sleep
I can't speak to you
I can't sleep

And so i'm reaching out for the one
And so i've learned the meaning of the sun
And all this like a message comes to shift my point of view
And watching through my own light
As it tints the shade of you

Hold my wine hold it in
Nobody's lost but nobody wins

And I can't sleep
I can't speak to you
I can't sleep

And so i'm reaching out for the one
And so i've learned the meaning of the sun
And all this like a message comes to shift my point of view
And watching through my own light
As it tints the shade of you

I cant sleep, I cant speak to you
I cant sleep, I cant speak to you
I cant sleep, I cant speak to you
I cant sleep, I cant speak to you
I cant sleep, I cant speak to you
I cant sleep, I cant speak to you

Émotion privée

2010-02-06T03:17:00.000Z

Merci d'attirer mon attention, merci de partager votre bel amour, merci de me vouloir dans votre vie.

Merci de tout que vous êtes vers moi.

Je te dis cela je t'aime chaque fois, mais échouer malheureux pour exprimer it' ; la signification la plus vraie de s.Les sentiments qui ont allumé le feu dans mon esprit et apportent la paix à mon coeur.

Vous êtes égoïste pourtant affectueusement tendre. Vous me donnez tout dont je veux et ai besoin, et refrain tout qui me gardent de sentir faiblement la tristesse. Je sais maintenant ce que signifie il pour que quelqu'un ombrage une certaine lumière à votre vie

Votre sourire fait mon coeur aspire à vous.

Votre rire me remplit avec joie.

Votre seule présence chauffera n'importe quelle pièce.

Juste vous s'asseyant près de moi me donnez la facilité.

Quand vous regardez ma manière, je sens le monde tremblant.

Quand vous me tenez étroitement, je me sens complètement pour appartenir.

Vous êtes ma maison...

Ainul

2010-01-27T17:59:00.000Z

Simple.

A good friend of mine that is never too boastful or never too humble.

A close friend of mine that is mature for her own age and still young in her way of thinking. (basically she's not childishhh! hah! cough)

A person who still has her share of hardships but still content with her being.

Thank you for teaching me about life.

Luv~

27 Jan 2010

My Pride and Joy

2010-01-15T01:26:00.001Z

I'm sleepy, but I miss mon cherie achingly...

note: the day you stood (more like slept) before me on my portfolio submission.

Hahahah, awwww cute. Good nite, syg, ILU.
14.Jan.2010

Baiser de Matin

2009-11-01T15:04:00.000Z

It's raining...has turned into a light drizzle.. that's awrite right? I havent really move around much today (did took my shower).. hearing the soft breathing on the other line, always gives me a comforting feeling n sometimes compelling me to take a nap as well.... Wakkkeee uppp mon arc-en-ciel~ je vous manque aujourd'hui

Paraphrasing

2009-10-22T10:55:00.000+01:00

" It's cold... " ,

words that echo in a simple inane mind of mine.

The sun glared with it's magnificent light. Provides it's heat

throughout the horizontal land.

The flowers and birds are dancing joyfully and innocently

in the new spring breeze of this season.

" It's still cold... "

My ordinary pairs of feet and hand affirmed the proclamation

" Empty... "

It's like being in glass... an empty enclosed glass

Let you see everything outside you but

trapping you from ever being part of it.

Is that how birds felt when they were inside

a cage? no matter how vast it is, how

exquisite it is decorated, how generously

filled it is?

At least I feel something...

Is is enough?

suffocating

frustrating

At least give me disappearance...

The powerless me that holds onto a faint strength.

Lost

2009-10-13T21:55:00.000+01:00

She makes me feel complete...

you know, not lacking.

I do know I have flaws...

but she makes me feel... me.

I'm alive... here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0eGe-VV7I8&feature=PlayList&p=D1BF42D953DC890B&index=0&playnext=1

Just as I feel like it part 1

2009-09-18T09:09:00.000+01:00

I havent taken my shower yet... heh.

~March 2007~

Things I once wrote in that turquoise box above

...........................................................................

The mid-night moon was fill with hidden peace

An unmoving hand of time in my heart

touched the never fading thoughts...

...........................................................................

The eternal dream flooded gently in the

deep night sky

though vanished into the first

morning light

...........................................................................

Charmed by the moon's sight

Taken by the sky's voice

revived the shielded sensation

...........................................................................

My hand won't reach you,

the blanced memory is vaguing my vision

...........................................................................

As I can't express my sadness

my heart continues to wait

...........................................................................

Still Beautiful Today

2009-09-15T07:59:00.000+01:00

FTTS

Sunday Morning~

2009-09-07T14:52:00.000+01:00

Akam : ...kian...menyeksa...Duhai cintaiku, sayangku, lepaskan lah..lalala~

Shi-chan : Adam, whoever told you that your voice is soothing, just kill them!

Hahahahahhaha My sunday joy~

Random is an Option

2009-09-07T14:43:00.000+01:00

The thing you would not want to hear from your Plumber.

"Oh! tau, tau! Kamu tak payah provide the address. Sye slalu baiki paip2 rumah tue those days"
(Oh! I know! You need not provide the address. I used to fix the pipes in that house before)

That bad, huh the piping in this house? =__________="

Pray Letter

2009-08-25T13:38:00.000+01:00

Dear God the Most Merciful and the Most Forgiving,

I am thankful for all the things that have happened to me and that has been given to me thus far. I embrace everything that has been transpired to me by you and accept every choices that you bestow upon me.

I kneel before you today hoping that you would grant your humble servant a few of her (that I believe badly need of) wishes.

Please give my newfound friend happiness in the new world. I dearly hope all his arrangements went smoothly. Please give him the internet as soon as possible as I got so much to tell him and anxiously curious to know all of his journey so far, please make hast so that I won't forget later on.

He has been such an altruistic friend when I was in a pathetic manner. By the same token, he equitably helped me understand myself better. I recognize these are all from you and all that you have planned is for me to be awed of your many mysterious (and unconventional) ways, for that reason I am grateful to you for your coincidences.

Once again, this humble servant begs your forgiveness in her past, present and future mistakes and your strength to guide her in her entire being.

Please accept my humble request and I thank you for all your attention.
Humbly,
Thara' L. 24 August

A Promise of Hope

2009-08-15T15:06:00.001+01:00

Don't listen to the voices in your head...

"Why?"

There would always be times in many of phases in our lives we are confronted with the "enduring promises" of God.

In times such as those, some would called it "moment of weaknesses", or "*Faith in the Dark Night" or "turning point of one's own decision" or so forth.
(* Paolo Coelho - Brida)

I woke up one morning with a feeling of a trepidation within a calm atmosphere... Through my window, the curtain creates a hazy dream-like scenery...

----------------------------------------------
"Why?"

How does it came about the question of "why" ?

Why did you do that?

Why am I doing this?

Why are we breathing?

Why do it keeps us from living?

Why do we yearn living knowing all things must die?

A fine lot of good that will do you!

(God! I would be truly deprived of my sanity if I keep this unceasing demented emotions.)

Though the question remains~

...... But... I still wish for freedom.

Because of "why" I unconsciously blot out "what"

What is my signification of "freedom"?

"Everyone's looking for the perfect teacher, but although their teachings might be divine, teachers are all too human, and that's something people find all too hard to accept. Don't confuse the teacher with the lesson, the ritual with the ecstasy, the transmitter of the symbol with the symbol itself. The Tradition is linked to our encounter with the forces of life and not with the people who bring this about. But we are weak: we ask the Mother to send us guides, and all she sends are signs to the road we need to follow.

Pity those who seek for shepherds, instead of longing for freedom! An encounter with superior energy is open to anyone but remains far from those who shift responsibility onto others. Our time on earth is sacred and we should celebrate every moment."
— Paulo Coelho, The Witch of Portobello

The courage to merely be yourself. The faith in your belief. The strength to embrace the existence of life despite the entity of your fear.

There will be times I can freely say

I am simply me~

Listen to the voices of your inner heart.
"What do you truly wish for?"

Unnie~ Life isn't easy but it isn't impossible.

List of things to do for tomorrow

2009-07-06T17:21:00.000+01:00

1. wake up early
2. make breakfast
3. clean my uhh... work area
4. check out violin class
5. facial appointment
6. practice my intuos4
7. read "understanding exposure"

ngee~ :D

Ack! call nul-pyon, aizzuddin (aka hentai-sama), shin ramen, aisyah, namy.

Thinking of you

2009-07-06T01:49:00.000+01:00

Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed

You said move on
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes

You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise center
How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test

He kissed my lips
I taste your mouth
He pulled me in
I was disgusted with myself

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into...

You're the best
And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched it I was burned
Oh I think you should know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Oh won't you walk through
And bust in the door
And take me away
Oh no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay..

Terrorism of Shi-kyuun~

2009-06-23T20:14:00.000+01:00

1)5 things that u hated most
Scary movies
Scary Commercials
Scary Posters
Togeh (bean sprout)
Mr L***s.

2)5 words that u dislike most..
Any cursing words

3)5 things that make u cry..
Mum said "I luv you"
Nana said "I'm sorry"
Shi-chan said "Goodbye"
Death
Sharun-pii's sincerity

4)5 things that make u laugh..
Memories
IT Crowds
Skip Beat
( )
( )

5)5 words to describe the person who give u this tag
Persistent
Got me wrapped up around her fingers
<3 me unconditionally
Frank
Genuine

A shooting star

2009-06-23T14:35:00.000+01:00

It is a dangerous "circumstance" when I'm into something, I'll passionately go for it until at a certain point I'll get bored with it and leave it to wither away.

So, let the game begin

a) Would you say talking persistently on the phone is a bad habit? :D
Flat out yeah. LoL, there would always be an exception though.

b) What is the thing you constantly read?
"Schlafzimmer", Bus timetable, Tube map, cereal/milk cartons, my archi books, fire and hemlock, Ouran Hostobu----> can't think anymore of the things I read over and over again.

c) Sliding down the staircase or walk regally down the staircase?
Sliding~ mwuehehhe I'm starting to like that cumbersome spiral staircase XD

d) Where would you most be seen to wait?
Bus stops

e) What were you waiting for?
A bus to come "ON TIME"

g) Your first time meeting/asking for a job?
None, dad did the asking.

f) You first time conversing with your superior / experienced co-worker?
"I'm dooooommmm". Tend to be too honest when I am nervous

h) Voicing or Writing?
Writing. Tend to speak compelled by emotions rather then what it is in the heart.

i) Digitally-recording or Drawing?
Drawing! Nothing beats the pencil and a sketch book!

j) Alien or Conventional?
Alien, I fancy things I don't quite familiar with.

I got nothing. To Shi-pyon <3

==updated==
done both of 'em

yawn~ oyasumi....

Through My Window Part 1

2009-06-23T13:43:00.000+01:00

One Smoke Signal cumin' up!

2009-06-23T09:04:00.000+01:00

Abish Shi-chan!

1)What is the name u like people calling u most?
The name that those who truly care for me call

2)Who is the closest opposite gender friend you got?
Null

3)If a genie wants to grant u a wish,what will the wish be?
Your freedom.

4)What is the most weird activity u've done in ur life?
Being my void-of-common-sense self.

5)What is ur definition of love?
Yourselves and everything.

6)How do u imagine urself 10 years in the future?
Nooooooo!! I dun wanna b 30!!!!! Bloody question, it's rather rude to disregard your current youth ngeee~

7)3 words that are best to describe u r...?
I am human.

Paper Plane~

2009-06-22T19:28:00.000+01:00

*Pew to Shi-chan

i) What is the major thing on your mind right now?

ii) Does it causes restlessness?

iii) Does it gives you inexplicably joy?

iv) Have you ever consider yourself daring?

v) Why?

vi) Between these, what would you choose at the moment? (Strength / Belief)

vii) For what?

Nah!!! Impatience little bubble gabby!

Gardenia

2009-06-22T18:15:00.000+01:00

Where is the reason I put so much thought in putting you on the sole of senses? ....
Why do I complacently keep this vivid moment? Ironically, does it brings the successive of the insignificant of one existence?

Can we catch the wind? Surely not! But certainly wind could catches us, right?

Can you engulf yourself in your emotions? May we drown ourselves in our feelings?

Will you let your heart guide you? Or your current wit will? Perhaps would you put faith in the mind of your heart?

The Fate is always unexpected. It never is accidentally a coincidence.

Mornin' folks

2009-06-12T20:45:00.000+01:00

This is the point where I should realize the conventional (and perhaps the sensible) thing to write on blog is your "today-occurrence" (oh, bugger! comp adds). I choose "occurrence" because it really does describe how most people depict their interesting life, it is not something like an "everyday" thing. What I mean is, this is the difference between "a journal" and "a diary". Well, to be honest........ I can't sleep.

I can now feel that I'd truly understand what it means to experience "jet lag". It's 4am, yup I can't sleep, not only that I feel hunger every time the clock's needle on the wall strikes 2 / 3 am which is the time I have my dinner, I don't feel at all hungry by lunch time instead I feel sleepy.

I miss cat. And Nee-tama and Fairuz-nii.

As much as I'd like to have the things I wrote here seem "interesting" by others, I don't however care that much. Instead, I write because I wish to improve my english and to write "my type of language". As in, you can define people by just looking at their ways of writing. My understanding of "improving" is that I comprehend every each words I use, because I believe every words is different in everything they are represent. Eventhough, you may say that word is the synonym of such word.

Sunday Ease

2009-05-25T15:44:00.000+01:00

It's Monday, but it feels like sunday as I can see Nee-tama and Fairuz-nii in their informal attire.
(Is that even a valid justification?)

It's feels like sunday cause of the sense of laziness seep through the body (and possibly mind as well, I don't know)

The twerp and Fairuz-nii are at the living room playing x-box since morning (I teased them and alas was back-fired urghhmmmm)

Me: Lame nyerh kowang maen

Fairuz-nii: Takde la, baru jerh (=_______________=)

(note: his significant of time)

Nee-tama is doin random stuff aka homeworks (yeah, those are random fandomish stuff).

Me : Akak layan aya

Nee-tama : Mende? Hish!

(note: Her..... phd)

And I, in the room with mum facebookin' and laughin' like two skool-girls playing prank calls.

Mama: kekekek type somethin' that could irritates akak hana

Me: No way, nant dye jerit kt aya

Mama : then how about this...

Me: Lagi la nant dye taknak masak ntuk aya daa! Nooo!

In the end,
Fairuz-nii's fb has been victimized.

Cat did nothing.

My Nee-chama's cat, Cat.

2009-05-21T15:39:00.000+01:00

Yup, a notty, smelly, luvs-poopy, black as the-luggages-under-the-bed! (you wont see him if he doesn't open his eyes, that's how black he is)

Believe it or not, this cat travelled all the way from sterling, scotland to epsom, london (Oh, we did make a pit stop cause he throw up after 1/3 of the journey)

Fairuz-nii pampers and spoils him thoroughly and Nee-tama is the jelly-food-giver (yeah, he only eats the jelly part and refuse to take dry food)

Inquisitive?

He sniffs everything if you bring his face upon any sort of objects. (like a hamsta!)

If he's not under the bed, he's beneath the clean-laundries (which nee-tama throws a fit everytime she has just washed the clothes)

He recently acquired a charming skill: he'd always welcome us home (tadaima! -I'm home -, "his bell jingling" towards the door).

Did I mention he is stubborn as a smurf!
He wont move from his spot no matter how you nag him to (haish! boy, he sure knows how to be adorable)

Yeah! I'm a purr-tty model~

One of these day, this Cat should be taught his own place!

Hardly... =___=

Those days

2009-05-20T22:10:00.000+01:00

I believe everyone is different,
but why do we judge each other by our own
standard...?

Is that to suggest equality or fairness?

Equality brings forth the sense of
everything is in the "same degree" whereas
fairness is...
putting something/someone in their
rightful place.

.......................

2009-04-21T00:05:00.000+01:00

===The playlist was deleted as it is getting on my nerve=====

I'm sorry,"
It's all that you can say
Years gone by and still
Words don't come easily
Like "sorry" (like "sorry"..like "sorry"..)
"Forgive me,"
is all that you can say
Years gone by and still
Words don't come easily
Like "forgive me" ("forgive me"..."forgive me"..)
Forgive me..

But you can say, baby
Baby can I hold you tonight?
Baby, if I told you the right words
oooh, at the right time
You'll be mine

I love you
is all that you can say
Years gone by and still
Words don't come easily (words don't come easily..)
Like "I love you", I love you..

But you can say, baby
Baby can I hold you tonight?
Baby, if I told you the right words
oooh, at the right time
You'll be mine

(Baby can I hold you...)
But you can say, baby
Baby can I hold you tonight?
Baby, if I told you the right words
oooh, at the right time
You'll be mine

(Baby, if I hold you..)
(Baby, can I hold you..) You'll be mine..
(Baby if I told you..)
(Baby, can I hold you..)
You'll be mine..
(Baby if I told you..)
Baby, can I hold you.

Fly To The Sky (FTTS) - My Angel

2009-03-05T23:30:00.000Z

It's a bit sad....Lee Sang Woo is soo heartbreakin' in this!

To the Ozzie

2009-03-05T16:48:00.001Z

This pix was taken on my way back to my campus, from surrey XD! I have my own room~ (that's not the point).
Tonikaku, recently I watched Wizard of Oz (it's the 1930's American kind of gen.)-- in the end, the wizard turned out to be a mad scientist an gave the three (Cowardly Lion, Tin Man, and Scarecrow) medal, certificate some sort, and a pocket watch with a heart shape... it's... funny LoL. Oh!, I managed to watched the second half of the movie, dunno wot happen in the first part of it.

I'm not sure if this is the one which is the first wizard of oz I've seen ( I only remember some scenes, which is the first part of the movie)-- where dorothy ran from a wicked place (is it her aunt's or the orphanage... and she drowned...that...magically arrived in Oz. Ack! and yeah, she had a key which the shape at one end is a letter Z in between the letter O.

So, as you can see from the above pic. That shoes reminded me of dorothy's shoes aha (~_~)... When I shot this one, my flash was on "automatic", so it did a bit of flashes at that time. I think some of the people realize I was taking pixxie, but I choosed to be a thick-faced and avoided any eyes contact..(In the tube apparently)
I think, from now on I'll be taken random pics with my trusted EM-Nok cam!

-----------------------------> and I'm currently diggin' fixxie (Fixed Gear)... check out their website ChargeBike London Cool Fixxer

ILANG

2009-02-17T22:46:00.000Z

Camne ntah... maen2 nk cr templates br, sume ilang.... &#)!&$!)#&%!!! CURSEEE YOUUUUU BLOGGGGSPOOOTTTTT!!!! TT__TT

Oh well, I'm tired, and I'm not supposed to slack off... so another time (when I'm less stress) I'll.... fix this predicament.

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Update

Everytime I see this..... I feel like blowing up! >(

GAH! ...Step away from this site...

Hen na hito

2009-02-06T00:16:00.000Z

I'm gonna write this (since I have been telling this to almost everyone, hoping to get some kind of advice but turned out to be like a storytelling, apparently funny at that ::..mostly they'd laughed at me..:: (=____=iii))

We are in the same prog, so I see him come and go sporadically. And I concluded that I Dont Want (Hope I Wont) In Any Way To Get Associate With That Kind Of Person. Dont get me wrong, it's not that he did anything bad or anything, rather the opposite. He (according to my impression) is kind of reaaalllyyy into our prog but in an high-class and elite kind of way. It's not that a bad thing, but that kind of type doesn't particularly appeal to me. Mostly because, based on my experiences, those people eventhough they are sometime nice (there were some that are completely nice and great, but that's not the point), are somewhat high-minded. It could be good or bad, whichever way I don't want to be friendly-nicey-perky with.

So anyway, on the last day before breaks, our group were combined for the last project critz. I was soo nervous (as usual). As I waited for my turn, I went around to see others works, (and I started to feel a bit daunted). I saw a particular design from the other group, I was a bit awestruck (but more to admiring). This work just show how much the artist enjoyed designing it (which I'm a bit envious). And it turned out, it's that dude's work. Geh! (I'm not exaggerating, I was really "what?!" ::.a tiny displeasure shock..:::)....... I'm dooomed. (if you knew me real well, I tend to be a bit competetive toward the people that less appeal to me, heh)

(note: less appeal means those i streomindedly think which arbitrarily I feel a bit decline)

When it was my turn to present (the last one from my group), I was literally praying he didnt sit by and listen (well I didn't see him, so thank god). It went smoothly, in fact the Tutors were really quite impressed by my idea (they gave a lot of terms and title to go with it). The only thing they were disappointed was not be able to see the measured drawing (I didnt actually completed yet the work, but during presentation never ever points out your flaws!) After I became less nervous, I heard (and saw!) him asking what was my concept again (his lec: Obsession within an obsession). (He was there the entire time, and sitting next to the tutors) Aww, mann!! (>///<)
I didnt stick around to wait and listen for his turn, went back quickly with the glad-that-was-over feeling.

Before I knew it new term started, and by strange chance for the group project of Sustainable Construction we end up in the same group. The session, where each group have to gather (atleast meet to know who's who) at a different part of the seating (It's in the lecture hall, where you have the long-stretched chair in stair-like sequence). My group was to meet at the 3rd/4th/5th row of the seating area (anyway, I was at one of the top rows so I can see clearly). "e.he.he.he yeah, he's there."
I'm reluctant (the only seat available was at his left), and what was worst I didn't see any female yet in my group. I rather skip the session, well after my fren saw there was a girl in her group she coaxed (more like command, like how an older sister/mother command) me to go to my group. So I drag myself towards them.

Rambut tebal: are you in the group?

me : yeah n_n (frenly smile------>turned on my charming mode)

...still waiting for more people to come... ('-') (^-^)( _ )( _ )( _ )

Rambut tebal : so how was comic project comin along?

(woah, that surprised me I didnt expected him to know me, let alone remembers my work)

I answered something like it's gud bla bla, and he start asking questions bout lec and results on visual studies etc (out of courtesy, I asked bout him)

Amidst the talking and get to know each member, oiy of nowhere they elected me as the group leader

"Huh?! You can't be serious??..Is it because I am the only girl??"

They chuckled and gave random reasons.
I shook my head adamantly.

Rambut tebal : Dun worry, I'll help too...

(I dun remember when, but he kept on touching my shoulder, like how my lec does)

"wut the heck? womanizer~"LOL

Ufufufufuf, from there we became frenly (for quite a time I called him that in my head, cause he like to touch and when talking to him he would be soooo close)

He likes to ask how my works are goin and he is enthuasism in architecture, purely optimistic in life, he goes by his own way, think the weather in malaysia is similar to india, he genuinely interested in my ideas, his creativity is passionately-driven, possess amiable quality. ^^

I dont know when, but I like tuesday.

I'm sorry

2009-01-12T22:07:00.000Z

The 3 most important frens in my life rite now, namy, mii, nul-pyon. I love you guys and I'm sorry haven't contact you, I'll always cherish our bonds.

2009-01-06T03:32:00.000Z

Mind yuuuuu!

Looking at my archive I realize I'm reaaaaaallllllyyyyy a lazy person to update stuff -how's that relate? heh-

Anyway, I just came up with a solution=

I'll write according to the number of each months. So it would be like...

January = 1 post, Feb = 2 posts, March = 3 posts and so on.

This would be like "Azam tahun baru" kekekkekekkeekkeke I havent done that as an essay for yearss!

I doubt it would last in a couple of months. (=_______=)

Jisatsu

2008-12-09T01:15:00.000Z

I'm easily bored.

I can get lost inside of building. But quite good on road.
I walk... compelled by wherever my legs bring me XD

I'm deviously charming ----> according to Shi-chan!
Until now, she's still awed by my charming side (especially towards those who I less like) (^===^)

Apparently I have low self-esteem but not self-pity,
I HATE self-pity!
that's why I'd react strongly if someone pity me
(sympathize--- only a certain range of people would, if not I'll be offended).
Yeah, I'm prideful

I may look weak, but kekekkekekkeke.
You're dangerously in dire position if you think I'm timid and...softy?

I'm a fool but how would you know if I'm not pretending to be one? ufufufuufu
(this is actually when I'm on guard),
if I'm not I really am a fool and simple-minded

I take everything and reflect nothing
(in front of you that is :P)

I would try my hardest to make the pretentious into real scenario

Don't try to pry into my soul! I'll stop running when
I see you stay patiently. (Thank you Shi-chan!)

In a way, I haven't grow up yet! I still can't open up myself freely, in fact I became more cynical
hahahahaha at least I'm thankful to have someone to rely on
(other than mua family).

I guess... it's true... but I can't bring myself to admit,
that's why I'm not moving forward... or is it because
I can't say "It's fine, everything will be alright" until it "is"

I don't know how to react on people kindness
(Kindness = it's not when it is convenient, or...capability.
it's a willingness to put others first, a
sacrifice if you'd like to call but it doesn't
explain the broadness of kindness)

I'm not a... self-satisfied person, that's why I gonna move forward (whether it's fast or slow, I'm going to look back)

I'm very possessive, I won't give the people I care up easily.
Thought I'm not the jealous type XP. So if you try to have
the same affection that I received from the ones I care, I'll
be gladly be your opponent. I must emphasize I'm a sore loser!
XDDD

I said I have a low self-esteem. And a high pride. It's
ridiculously a contradiction.

The answer is quite simple I'm a sore loser!.
I'm not strong but I'm not weak either.
It's not that I want to win but I refused to be a failure.

I dislike analytical person. ----------> random statement

Aitai...

2008-11-05T00:52:00.000Z

Ne...

Ima wa.... anata wa nani shiterun'da?
Ima wa.... nanika wo kimochi darou?

Ne...
Why do you seem to know me but, not fully understand me?

Sore demo, I'm thankful for that...
because that way, I can see your kindness.

...I rely on you too much...

Ne, shiteru?
The first time we're fated to know each other,
I used you.
Even so, you insisted on seeing me as a victim.
why is that?

Back then, I wasn't particularly naive
I was just afraid.
I got the chance and I wanted to use it to beat my past!

Somehow, you managed to climb over the hidden wall I disguised myself from...

The reason how we are now is actually because of you
You have been patient with me the whole way
You continue to accept me until I learn to trust you back

So, it's not that I care for you because you do for me.

Ne...
Shiteru?
You pull me from an addictive friendship to a rare one
But I still protect those memories

Ne...

Mou dame.
ningen sonzai wa mendoukusai...

sou janai kute.

massugu aisuru yuuki o hoshi daiyou ne...
minna-tachi mo kitto...

Hoshi ni jiyuu da.

Winter Sleep

2008-11-05T00:30:00.000Z

It keeps coming back to me
I remember this pain
It spreads across my eyes
Everything is dull

Everyone's smiling, they're smiling
It pushes me far far away
I can't understand
Everything is blue

Can you hear me out there?

Will you hold me now Hold me now My frozen heart
I'm gazing from the distance and
I feel everything pass through me
I can't be alone right now
Will you hold me now Hold me now My frozen heart
I'm lost in a deep winter sleep
I can't seem to find my way out alone
Can you wake me

I know when I let it in
It hides love from this moment
So I guard it close
I watch the moves it makes

But it gets me, but it gets me
I wish I could understand how I
Could make it disappear, make it disappear

Anyone out there hear me now?

Will you hold me now Hold me now My frozen heart
Kiss my lips and maybe you can take me to your world for now
I can't be alone right now
Will you hold me now Hold me now My frozen heart
Please make it all go away
Am I ever gonna feel myself again?
I hope I will

Olivia inspi' Reira (Trapnest)

Ichiban kowai no wa... Ichiban tsurai no wa...Dais'ki na hito ni kirai warate shimau koto dakara.

2008-09-07T06:08:00.000+01:00

I finally understand! I finally undertand what Arima was going through, I finally undertand just what Yukino meant by "Arima do not just wish to be loved, but what Arima really wanted is to love"

=====Spoiler Alert for those you haven't finish Kare Kano=====

After reading Raven and Mikhail story, I finally understood how Raven and Arima are (especially Arima's) feeling.

They felt that Yukino and Mikhail are well above them, and that they don't deserve to have such joy given to them. I always thought that when a guy said to the girl that he loves he doesn't deserve her was crap, and that he was weak and in a way a hypocrite (in a way that he's lying to himself). Iya you.

But, it's not that... They wish to also give the love that their partners deserve... To be able to have that kind of "My feeling won't also lose to another"-belief
... To love freely, and... truly.

It's like when Arima was small, when his uncle and aunt (his current parent) shower him with many things to show their love as a parent, like her Mom (his aunt) would always make him cakes and likes, and said they were all for him, Arima would always hesitated and asked "is this for him?"a few times...
Because Arima real parent abandoned him, his father went to seek his dream, while he was left with his abusive mother. His mother'd shoved the love he was trying to give...

When it was summer, the hot weather...
his mother took him for a walk. She bought herself an ice cream while she let him suffered in the horrible hea. Seeing that, the ice cream lady took pity and offered Arima an ice cream, she went berserk and trampled the food... immediately dragged Arima back home. Lock all the doors and windows, closed the curtains and start hitting him.

When they went to a festival, where it is crowded with people,his mother would walk really fast as if she'd forgotten her son, Arima was trying to catch up with his mother's fast pace (at the same time calling out for her) and when he reached her, she gave an eerie and satisfied smile.
Arima always had bruises everywhere on his body, so he never understood why the other kids his age would shuddered, laughed and teased him when he tried to approach them to play along, they called him a monster,he came back crying and went into the bathroom, reached for a stool,then saw himself in the sink mirror. He broke down.

Arima grew up being afraid to love.

I understand now... Arima his childhood... Like when you trying to give someone you really love (like a mother) a gift on the Christmas day, the gift you work by collecting money for years and you were so sure and proud of it, then found out that the gift was treated as a petty thing... was shoved in front of your face as if it was dirty.

This emotion... in some part is.... the same as when you hate yourself.

It's worst than being ignored...
Trying so hard to impress that person,
but then the efforts were mocked...
to be regard as unimportant... It's a painful feeling.

Slowly the voice of the inner heart is closing.

They say that if you wish for people to like you, you must first like yourself.
But, how? when we can only see our bad sides...
That's why we hate ourselves.
That's not it... I started to learn to like myself when there's someone say they like me
when I'm in my worst moment.
It's not a judgement, but to see the good sides from that bad things.
It is not understanding nor it is pity.

The feeling of acceptance from another, finally we would forgive ourselves little by little.

2008-08-27T17:29:00.000+01:00

I feel downright dejected.

I promise to myself (or was it to Shi-chan too) that I would call Shi-pyon as soon as I got back home (I even saved her num[s] in my em-nok ::..mind you, I only memorize your house phone), but as soon as I reached home I got sick. Now here I am.... my nose can literally breath in and out air without any annoyance of feeling one-sided (if this random-nish make any sense), I can speak now without that irritating sore throat stop me, and my gum didn't make any excruciating pain (mom said it was because of the constant blowing your nose)...and my vit decided to make a break for it before I can finish the whole thing off.
So I guess I'll be seeing her next week, insyaallah.---->I'm not taking bout that insensible vitamin.

This friday I'll be going back ....err to where my dad is now... but that weekend we'll be having family-gath, so I've yet to see namy (goooooommmmeeeennnn >_<), but I think I'll try visiting her on friday or before I go back home.. I need to sleeeeeeepppppppppp~ ::.yawn..:: .

Ack, nee-san just got herself pre-hook
And yeah, I'm writing in mymultipleotherself mode or more like "mood"

Ack... one of my eyebrows fell.

2008-08-07T18:29:00.000+01:00

I'm taking a "lunch-break".

At the moment I'm editting Pandora Hearts (now I'm somewhat intrigued by this manga, people at manga abyss keep asking for it's release haha)So I'd myself volunteered to help the Shonen sect. I'm actually part of Shoujo sect.
::..So please come visit Manga Abyss's forum, we have lots of genres and the people there are all nice cough..cough...somewhat..hyper..cough.. tee hee XD..::

Etto... what else (my back hurts and my eyes are at the point where you can see invisible dust at the corner of your eyes =____= uhhh...)

OMG!!!! It's 7 august!!! I've only one month till this my-chance-to-be-day-nyao-time is over!!!! ahhhrrraraara~

....hiatus (going out for a while).....

came back from jusco

.....hiatus.............................

came back from meeting with Fairu-nii's family~

oyasumi.

Kimi ga Hohoemu Nara (If You Smile)

2008-07-08T14:54:00.000+01:00

The foreign lullabye you sing to yourself...
I thought I could hear
its sweet, heartbreaking melody.
Ah... Is it alright to rest?
No matter how much time passes,
the flame that burned the sky
continues endlessly.
Ah... Fighting against

A anguished prayer on behalf of all people
And then a worn-out, sad person

If you smile,
I can take any kind of pain;
even if this body perishes.
If you smile,
I'm sure my spirit will be resurrected,
because I was born
to protect your dreams.

I want to become much stronger.
I've wished for that.
I won't be driven off by weakness.
I won't be defeated by anyone.
Ah... I was revering myself
But when I met you,
for the first time, I realized
that no matter where you take my trust,
you take my love.
Ah... That's true strength.

You console and heal my frozen heart.
You're a gentle person, resembling the soft sunlight.

If you smile
I'd do anything for that.
Even if I live the kind of life that's only pain
If you smile
I'd overcome a thousand nights.
I promise that, until your dreams are realized,
I will not be defeated.

The foreign lullabye you sing to yourself...
After having waited for so long,
the morning sun rises.
Is it alright to rest now?

Tomite and Hikitsu's Character Vocal
Performed by Hiyama Nobuyuki and Iwanaga Tetsuya

Gahh!

2008-05-20T03:17:00.000+01:00

I don't know why I even bother to start this blog stuff when I'm not even a... revealing person (if such term even exist) ::...there's a lot "even" going on..::

Anyway, just came back from morning class.. We had our mid-term exam 3 days ago(IMTIHAN!!!) nyeeeee~, the exam was 2 hours duration and I finished it within half an hour ngehehehehehehehehhehe~...

We (Nul-tan and my cousin and her friends) went to an anime convention a couple of days... it was... pathetic really... Although, it was fun (on the average scale). You can count the number of booths were there with your hand. The cosplay... I thought they were disturbing aha!... But the doujinshi booth was rather cute, I got to have a drawing of chibi-SuJu!!! (afyummmmmm... I can't wait for they to announce the date of their Asia Tour!)

And then, yesterday we (Nul-rurin and my parent) went to pc convention (WICT)--if I'm not mistaken the title... Anyway, my main scheme was to go to kino kekekeke, I bought the Shinkuro vol 10 the original version

It's in jap, so I bought this bacause I want to learn how to read kataana and hiiragana...

Hibernation!!!!!!!!!

2008-03-18T03:41:00.000Z

The title said it all!! ufufufufufuf The inevitable biological clock! kekekekeke.... cough....

It's the 2nd day of my final break which means 23 days to go till short term begins poking me -more like stabbing me- with "MORNING CLASS". Yes, the unavoidable doom that most student face....:huge sigh:.. Ma! if I'm lucky I might get a pleasant looking lecturer kekekeke

Speaking of which... I'm currently watching WaT and realized something. These people, I mean they are what you would called a... people who have beauty as their asset . But I think what really that made people attracted to them is basically their optimistic.. guts. They have the talent to do anything silly or mortify to some of us and actually turning it into an enjoyment. And they'd turn tv hosts' judgmental comment into an innocent amusement. So I understand a bit why some celeb could portrayed a good role model and why some fans choose them. Not just physical image but the most important is positiveness. This world is already too cynical, and i guess these people from time to time remind us of the strength to smile.

Bah! That have been said. Mum went out, saying something about having breakfast with her friend, but it's almost lunch time, I haven't taken my bath, make the bed, clean my room or even eaten yet- what a "productive" life I have (quo: my centralize sister heh) ... yup, nothing unusual about this morning. And here I was planning on finishing my oneshot, and maybe reading some biography on famous artists and working on with my creative skill... Yosh! Gambaru! Fighting that leech lazion creature off you!

for WaT fans----> bokura no ibasho manga

My old stuff

2008-02-15T05:29:00.000Z

I will give You my first love~

Rumagging through Azu-chan deviantart made me reminisced on how I was once really in love with drawing and creating my own kingdom... (and I still am in love with drawings, but the joys I was feeling is diminishing)... well it's not really diminishing,rather it's disappearing... I still remember vividly how an -call it whatever you like- inspiration hit me...
I'm not sure how to put it... it feels like you're in an ethereal forest, the smells of fresh morning trees, the voices of the forest maze,
or looking up at the bluest bright sky when standing on a freelance pirate's ship, going on a voyage in 17's or 19's century, the sound of seagulls and the song of the seawaves...vague but certain... The feeling of searching but without a track...

I've lived in fantasies, it gave me a sense of living and.... longing. It satisfied me but at the same time made me want more. It's like when I'm being greedy when reading a certain book or gazing at an art, trying to remember all the lines, textures, colours, emotions... They telling me their story...How I wish to go back to those time.

Here, I speak my oath, someday when I finally blessed with the return of my solitary, I'll tell my story through arts.

1,2,3....

2008-02-13T11:37:00.000Z

Just finish washing my hair~~ hehehe. Thank God I didnt bump into those friends of mine who are cultivating the room of 136,137,139,140. They will act surprise and tease me about showering for the 2nd time of the day..hmmph!

Anyway, today I feel like it has been strectched longer than usual. I was sure that on btq class my group wont be presenting the last topic yet. It was kimi's group who presented the second last topic for today class. So I told t-qah, if there were a possiblity that our group would atleast present the first sub-topic, I'll buy some time by asking a lot of questions and make an expression "I'm too slow to understand and need further examples" during the q&a session. I didnt expect that most of us are seizing the answers to everyone questions. It was funny! when kimi n his members gave the look "ask one more and you're dead!" and everyone ignored the look and kept on asking questions (it was amusing). Eventually my first prediction was right, our group were never in danger of presenting to begin with heh.

Silent Memory

2008-02-13T09:50:00.000Z

This was first developed like 2 to 3 years ago... My first poem which based on nuff knowledge of mine aha.

...........................................................................

...........................................................................

I had a dream
It all began when
my fear compelled me to run away from darkness
my grieveness compelled me to run away from myself
...........................................................................

When reality was harsh
Dream would be my escape
...........................................................................

I want to forget the painful event
I want to forget the slapping rejections
I want to forget the broken feeling
but...
What I most wanted is someone to look for me,
when I shut myself out
...........................................................................

Dream has became my wish, my longing...
my answer.
...........................................................................

Your voice made me lookup
Your generous hand made me reach up
Your gentle caress soothed my fear
Your warmth embrace made me feel protected
...........................................................................

I wish it would be endless
I wish it could be clearer
I wish to see you more
...........................................................................

So I searched for any shred that reminded me of you
But...
...........................................................................

'You are what you are.'
Same as for dream
Illusion couldn't replace reality
then...
...........................................................................

Your presence became less each passing sleeps
You were disappearing
I realized the reason you've vanished
is because I've betrayed you
All because of my selfish need for you more.
...........................................................................

I tried to search for you
I did many things
I called, I pleaded, I waited,
Sometime I found you but
when I tried to reach you,
Either you were immediately gone or
it was never really you
You never did appear again.
...........................................................................

I remember vividly the first time you came to me...
...........................................................................

...........................................................................

(author's note: when I read back, it's suxxxxx!!! >_<)

uh.

2008-02-12T09:07:00.000Z

A first suscitate blogpost should always bring forth an exultation from the master--->( i like the sound of that heh) ......cough...... huh? Alas, after much persuasion from a persistent, surprisingly (I might add) willing unpaid harasser sister of mine..... my humble blog is created.

the end.

(author's note: this is the place I will put aside my dignity and complaint as much as I want, so there, dear sista! kekkekekekekke)