Tuesday 9 December 2008

Jisatsu

I'm easily bored.

I can get lost inside of building. But quite good on road.
I walk... compelled by wherever my legs bring me XD

I'm deviously charming ----> according to Shi-chan!
Until now, she's still awed by my charming side (especially towards those who I less like) (^===^)

Apparently I have low self-esteem but not self-pity,

I HATE self-pity!
that's why I'd react strongly if someone pity me
(sympathize--- only a certain range of people would, if not I'll be offended).

Yeah, I'm prideful

I may look weak, but kekekkekekkeke.

You're dangerously in dire position if you think I'm timid and...softy?

I'm a fool but how would you know if I'm not pretending to be one? ufufufuufu

(this is actually when I'm on guard),
if I'm not I really am a fool and simple-minded

I take everything and reflect nothing

(in front of you that is :P)

I would try my hardest to make the pretentious into real scenario

Don't try to pry into my soul! I'll stop running when
I see you stay patiently. (Thank you Shi-chan!)

In a way, I haven't grow up yet! I still can't open up myself freely, in fact I became more cynical
hahahahaha at least I'm thankful to have someone to rely on
(other than mua family).

I guess... it's true... but I can't bring myself to admit,
that's why I'm not moving forward... or is it because
I can't say "It's fine, everything will be alright" until it "is"

I don't know how to react on people kindness
(Kindness = it's not when it is convenient, or...capability.
it's a willingness to put others first, a
sacrifice if you'd like to call but it doesn't
explain the broadness of kindness)

I'm not a... self-satisfied person, that's why I gonna move forward (whether it's fast or slow, I'm going to look back)

I'm very possessive, I won't give the people I care up easily.
Thought I'm not the jealous type XP. So if you try to have
the same affection that I received from the ones I care, I'll
be gladly be your opponent. I must emphasize I'm a sore loser!
XDDD

I said I have a low self-esteem. And a high pride. It's
ridiculously a contradiction.











The answer is quite simple I'm a sore loser!.
I'm not strong but I'm not weak either.

It's not that I want to win but I refused to be a failure.


I dislike analytical person. ----------> random statement

2 comments:

mashi_amie said...

charming or annoyying,
winner or loser,
and it doesn't matter if u still can't decide who u really are..
coz i'll always love u..
mish u aya!

Unknown said...

i never put "annoying" :P
aitai! sugoku aitai!

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