Sunday, 1 November 2009

Baiser de Matin

It's raining...has turned into a light drizzle.. that's awrite right? I havent really move around much today (did took my shower).. hearing the soft breathing on the other line, always gives me a comforting feeling n sometimes compelling me to take a nap as well.... Wakkkeee uppp mon arc-en-ciel~ je vous manque aujourd'hui

Thursday, 22 October 2009


" It's cold... " ,

words that echo in a simple inane mind of mine.

The sun glared with it's magnificent light. Provides it's heat
throughout the horizontal land.

The flowers and birds are dancing joyfully and innocently
in the new spring breeze of this season.

" It's still cold... "

My ordinary pairs of feet and hand affirmed the proclamation

" Empty... "

It's like being in glass... an empty enclosed glass
Let you see everything outside you but
trapping you from ever being part of it.

Is that how birds felt when they were inside
a cage? no matter how vast it is, how
exquisite it is decorated, how generously
filled it is?

At least I feel something...
Is is enough?
At least give me disappearance...

The powerless me that holds onto a faint strength.

Tuesday, 13 October 2009


She makes me feel complete...
you know, not lacking.
I do know I have flaws...
but she makes me feel... me.

I'm alive... here.

Friday, 18 September 2009

Just as I feel like it part 1

I havent taken my shower yet... heh.

~March 2007~

Things I once wrote in that turquoise box above




The mid-night moon was fill with hidden peace

An unmoving hand of time in my heart

touched the never fading thoughts...


The eternal dream flooded gently in the

deep night sky

though vanished into the first

morning light


Charmed by the moon's sight

Taken by the sky's voice

revived the shielded sensation


My hand won't reach you,

the blanced memory is vaguing my vision


As I can't express my sadness

my heart continues to wait




Tuesday, 15 September 2009

Still Beautiful Today


Monday, 7 September 2009

Sunday Morning~

Akam : ...kian...menyeksa...Duhai cintaiku, sayangku, lepaskan lah..lalala~

Shi-chan : Adam, whoever told you that your voice is soothing, just kill them!

Hahahahahhaha My sunday joy~

Random is an Option

The thing you would not want to hear from your Plumber.

"Oh! tau, tau! Kamu tak payah provide the address. Sye slalu baiki paip2 rumah tue those days"
(Oh! I know! You need not provide the address. I used to fix the pipes in that house before)

That bad, huh the piping in this house? =__________="

Tuesday, 25 August 2009

Pray Letter

Dear God the Most Merciful and the Most Forgiving,

I am thankful for all the things that have happened to me and that has been given to me thus far. I embrace everything that has been transpired to me by you and accept every choices that you bestow upon me.

I kneel before you today hoping that you would grant your humble servant a few of her (that I believe badly need of) wishes.

Please give my newfound friend happiness in the new world. I dearly hope all his arrangements went smoothly. Please give him the internet as soon as possible as I got so much to tell him and anxiously curious to know all of his journey so far, please make hast so that I won't forget later on.

He has been such an altruistic friend when I was in a pathetic manner. By the same token, he equitably helped me understand myself better. I recognize these are all from you and all that you have planned is for me to be awed of your many mysterious (and unconventional) ways, for that reason I am grateful to you for your coincidences.

Once again, this humble servant begs your forgiveness in her past, present and future mistakes and your strength to guide her in her entire being.

Please accept my humble request and I thank you for all your attention.
Thara' L. 24 August

Saturday, 15 August 2009

A Promise of Hope

Don't listen to the voices in your head...


There would always be times in many of phases in our lives we are confronted with the "enduring promises" of God.

In times such as those, some would called it "moment of weaknesses", or "*Faith in the Dark Night" or "turning point of one's own decision" or so forth.
(* Paolo Coelho - Brida)

I woke up one morning with a feeling of a trepidation within a calm atmosphere... Through my window, the curtain creates a hazy dream-like scenery...


How does it came about the question of "why" ?

Why did you do that?

Why am I doing this?

Why are we breathing?

Why do it keeps us from living?

Why do we yearn living knowing all things must die?

A fine lot of good that will do you!

(God! I would be truly deprived of my sanity if I keep this unceasing demented emotions.)

Though the question remains~

...... But... I still wish for freedom.

Because of "why" I unconsciously blot out "what"

What is my signification of "freedom"?

"Everyone's looking for the perfect teacher, but although their teachings might be divine, teachers are all too human, and that's something people find all too hard to accept. Don't confuse the teacher with the lesson, the ritual with the ecstasy, the transmitter of the symbol with the symbol itself. The Tradition is linked to our encounter with the forces of life and not with the people who bring this about. But we are weak: we ask the Mother to send us guides, and all she sends are signs to the road we need to follow.

Pity those who seek for shepherds, instead of longing for freedom! An encounter with superior energy is open to anyone but remains far from those who shift responsibility onto others. Our time on earth is sacred and we should celebrate every moment."
— Paulo Coelho, The Witch of Portobello

The courage to merely be yourself. The faith in your belief. The strength to embrace the existence of life despite the entity of your fear.

There will be times I can freely say

I am simply me~

Listen to the voices of your inner heart.
"What do you truly wish for?"

Unnie~ Life isn't easy but it isn't impossible.

Monday, 6 July 2009

List of things to do for tomorrow

1. wake up early
2. make breakfast
3. clean my uhh... work area
4. check out violin class
5. facial appointment
6. practice my intuos4
7. read "understanding exposure"

ngee~ :D

Ack! call nul-pyon, aizzuddin (aka hentai-sama), shin ramen, aisyah, namy.

Thinking of you

Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed

You said move on
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes

You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise center
How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test

He kissed my lips
I taste your mouth
He pulled me in
I was disgusted with myself

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into...

You're the best
And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched it I was burned
Oh I think you should know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Oh won't you walk through
And bust in the door
And take me away
Oh no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay..

Tuesday, 23 June 2009

Terrorism of Shi-kyuun~

1)5 things that u hated most
Scary movies
Scary Commercials
Scary Posters
Togeh (bean sprout)
Mr L***s.

2)5 words that u dislike most..
Any cursing words

3)5 things that make u cry..
Mum said "I luv you"
Nana said "I'm sorry"
Shi-chan said "Goodbye"
Sharun-pii's sincerity

4)5 things that make u laugh..
IT Crowds
Skip Beat
( )
( )

5)5 words to describe the person who give u this tag
Got me wrapped up around her fingers
<3 me unconditionally

A shooting star

It is a dangerous "circumstance" when I'm into something, I'll passionately go for it until at a certain point I'll get bored with it and leave it to wither away.

So, let the game begin

a) Would you say talking persistently on the phone is a bad habit? :D
Flat out yeah. LoL, there would always be an exception though.

b) What is the thing you constantly read?
"Schlafzimmer", Bus timetable, Tube map, cereal/milk cartons, my archi books, fire and hemlock, Ouran Hostobu----> can't think anymore of the things I read over and over again.

c) Sliding down the staircase or walk regally down the staircase?
Sliding~ mwuehehhe I'm starting to like that cumbersome spiral staircase XD

d) Where would you most be seen to wait?
Bus stops

e) What were you waiting for?
A bus to come "ON TIME"

g) Your first time meeting/asking for a job?
None, dad did the asking.

f) You first time conversing with your superior / experienced co-worker?
"I'm dooooommmm". Tend to be too honest when I am nervous

h) Voicing or Writing?
Writing. Tend to speak compelled by emotions rather then what it is in the heart.

i) Digitally-recording or Drawing?
Drawing! Nothing beats the pencil and a sketch book!

j) Alien or Conventional?
Alien, I fancy things I don't quite familiar with.

I got nothing. To Shi-pyon <3

done both of 'em

yawn~ oyasumi....

Through My Window Part 1

One Smoke Signal cumin' up!

Abish Shi-chan!

1)What is the name u like people calling u most?
The name that those who truly care for me call

2)Who is the closest opposite gender friend you got?

3)If a genie wants to grant u a wish,what will the wish be?
Your freedom.

4)What is the most weird activity u've done in ur life?
Being my void-of-common-sense self.

5)What is ur definition of love?
Yourselves and everything.

6)How do u imagine urself 10 years in the future?
Nooooooo!! I dun wanna b 30!!!!! Bloody question, it's rather rude to disregard your current youth ngeee~

7)3 words that are best to describe u r...?
I am human.

Monday, 22 June 2009

Paper Plane~

*Pew to Shi-chan

i) What is the major thing on your mind right now?

ii) Does it causes restlessness?

iii) Does it gives you inexplicably joy?

iv) Have you ever consider yourself daring?

v) Why?

vi) Between these, what would you choose at the moment? (Strength / Belief)

vii) For what?

Nah!!! Impatience little bubble gabby!


Where is the reason I put so much thought in putting you on the sole of senses? ....
Why do I complacently keep this vivid moment? Ironically, does it brings the successive of the insignificant of one existence?

Can we catch the wind? Surely not! But certainly wind could catches us, right?

Can you engulf yourself in your emotions? May we drown ourselves in our feelings?

Will you let your heart guide you? Or your current wit will? Perhaps would you put faith in the mind of your heart?

The Fate is always unexpected. It never is accidentally a coincidence.

Friday, 12 June 2009

Mornin' folks

This is the point where I should realize the conventional (and perhaps the sensible) thing to write on blog is your "today-occurrence" (oh, bugger! comp adds). I choose "occurrence" because it really does describe how most people depict their interesting life, it is not something like an "everyday" thing. What I mean is, this is the difference between "a journal" and "a diary". Well, to be honest........ I can't sleep.

I can now feel that I'd truly understand what it means to experience "jet lag". It's 4am, yup I can't sleep, not only that I feel hunger every time the clock's needle on the wall strikes 2 / 3 am which is the time I have my dinner, I don't feel at all hungry by lunch time instead I feel sleepy.

I miss cat. And Nee-tama and Fairuz-nii.

As much as I'd like to have the things I wrote here seem "interesting" by others, I don't however care that much. Instead, I write because I wish to improve my english and to write "my type of language". As in, you can define people by just looking at their ways of writing. My understanding of "improving" is that I comprehend every each words I use, because I believe every words is different in everything they are represent. Eventhough, you may say that word is the synonym of such word.

Monday, 25 May 2009

Sunday Ease

It's Monday, but it feels like sunday as I can see Nee-tama and Fairuz-nii in their informal attire.
(Is that even a valid justification?)

It's feels like sunday cause of the sense of laziness seep through the body (and possibly mind as well, I don't know)

The twerp and Fairuz-nii are at the living room playing x-box since morning (I teased them and alas was back-fired urghhmmmm)

Me: Lame nyerh kowang maen

Fairuz-nii: Takde la, baru jerh (=_______________=)

(note: his significant of time)

Nee-tama is doin random stuff aka homeworks (yeah, those are random fandomish stuff).

Me : Akak layan aya

Nee-tama : Mende? Hish!

(note: Her..... phd)

And I, in the room with mum facebookin' and laughin' like two skool-girls playing prank calls.

Mama: kekekek type somethin' that could irritates akak hana

Me: No way, nant dye jerit kt aya

Mama : then how about this...

Me: Lagi la nant dye taknak masak ntuk aya daa! Nooo!

In the end,
Fairuz-nii's fb has been victimized.

Cat did nothing.

Thursday, 21 May 2009

My Nee-chama's cat, Cat.

Yup, a notty, smelly, luvs-poopy, black as the-luggages-under-the-bed! (you wont see him if he doesn't open his eyes, that's how black he is)

Believe it or not, this cat travelled all the way from sterling, scotland to epsom, london (Oh, we did make a pit stop cause he throw up after 1/3 of the journey)

Fairuz-nii pampers and spoils him thoroughly and Nee-tama is the jelly-food-giver (yeah, he only eats the jelly part and refuse to take dry food)


He sniffs everything if you bring his face upon any sort of objects. (like a hamsta!)

If he's not under the bed, he's beneath the clean-laundries (which nee-tama throws a fit everytime she has just washed the clothes)

He recently acquired a charming skill: he'd always welcome us home (tadaima! -I'm home -, "his bell jingling" towards the door).

Did I mention he is stubborn as a smurf!
He wont move from his spot no matter how you nag him to (haish! boy, he sure knows how to be adorable)

Yeah! I'm a purr-tty model~
One of these day, this Cat should be taught his own place!


Wednesday, 20 May 2009

Those days

I believe everyone is different,
but why do we judge each other by our own

Is that to suggest equality or fairness?

Equality brings forth the sense of
everything is in the "same degree" whereas
fairness is...
putting something/someone in their
rightful place.

Tuesday, 21 April 2009


===The playlist was deleted as it is getting on my nerve=====

I'm sorry,"
It's all that you can say
Years gone by and still
Words don't come easily
Like "sorry" (like "sorry" "sorry"..)
"Forgive me,"
is all that you can say
Years gone by and still
Words don't come easily
Like "forgive me" ("forgive me"..."forgive me"..)
Forgive me..

But you can say, baby
Baby can I hold you tonight?
Baby, if I told you the right words
oooh, at the right time
You'll be mine

I love you
is all that you can say
Years gone by and still
Words don't come easily (words don't come easily..)
Like "I love you", I love you..

But you can say, baby
Baby can I hold you tonight?
Baby, if I told you the right words
oooh, at the right time
You'll be mine

(Baby can I hold you...)
But you can say, baby
Baby can I hold you tonight?
Baby, if I told you the right words
oooh, at the right time
You'll be mine

(Baby, if I hold you..)
(Baby, can I hold you..) You'll be mine..
(Baby if I told you..)
(Baby, can I hold you..)
You'll be mine..
(Baby if I told you..)
Baby, can I hold you.

Thursday, 5 March 2009

Fly To The Sky (FTTS) - My Angel

It's a bit sad....Lee Sang Woo is soo heartbreakin' in this!

To the Ozzie

This pix was taken on my way back to my campus, from surrey XD! I have my own room~ (that's not the point).
Tonikaku, recently I watched Wizard of Oz (it's the 1930's American kind of gen.)-- in the end, the wizard turned out to be a mad scientist an gave the three (Cowardly Lion, Tin Man, and Scarecrow) medal, certificate some sort, and a pocket watch with a heart shape... it's... funny LoL. Oh!, I managed to watched the second half of the movie, dunno wot happen in the first part of it.

I'm not sure if this is the one which is the first wizard of oz I've seen ( I only remember some scenes, which is the first part of the movie)-- where dorothy ran from a wicked place (is it her aunt's or the orphanage... and she drowned...that...magically arrived in Oz. Ack! and yeah, she had a key which the shape at one end is a letter Z in between the letter O.

So, as you can see from the above pic. That shoes reminded me of dorothy's shoes aha (~_~)... When I shot this one, my flash was on "automatic", so it did a bit of flashes at that time. I think some of the people realize I was taking pixxie, but I choosed to be a thick-faced and avoided any eyes contact..(In the tube apparently)
I think, from now on I'll be taken random pics with my trusted EM-Nok cam!

-----------------------------> and I'm currently diggin' fixxie (Fixed Gear)... check out their website ChargeBike London Cool Fixxer

Tuesday, 17 February 2009


Camne ntah... maen2 nk cr templates br, sume ilang.... &#)!&$!)#&%!!! CURSEEE YOUUUUU BLOGGGGSPOOOTTTTT!!!! TT__TT

Oh well, I'm tired, and I'm not supposed to slack off... so another time (when I'm less stress) I'll.... fix this predicament.


Everytime I see this..... I feel like blowing up! >(

GAH! ...Step away from this site...

Friday, 6 February 2009

Hen na hito

I'm gonna write this (since I have been telling this to almost everyone, hoping to get some kind of advice but turned out to be like a storytelling, apparently funny at that ::..mostly they'd laughed at me..:: (=____=iii))

We are in the same prog, so I see him come and go sporadically. And I concluded that I Dont Want (Hope I Wont) In Any Way To Get Associate With That Kind Of Person. Dont get me wrong, it's not that he did anything bad or anything, rather the opposite. He (according to my impression) is kind of reaaalllyyy into our prog but in an high-class and elite kind of way. It's not that a bad thing, but that kind of type doesn't particularly appeal to me. Mostly because, based on my experiences, those people eventhough they are sometime nice (there were some that are completely nice and great, but that's not the point), are somewhat high-minded. It could be good or bad, whichever way I don't want to be friendly-nicey-perky with.

So anyway, on the last day before breaks, our group were combined for the last project critz. I was soo nervous (as usual). As I waited for my turn, I went around to see others works, (and I started to feel a bit daunted). I saw a particular design from the other group, I was a bit awestruck (but more to admiring). This work just show how much the artist enjoyed designing it (which I'm a bit envious). And it turned out, it's that dude's work. Geh! (I'm not exaggerating, I was really "what?!" ::.a tiny displeasure shock..:::)....... I'm dooomed. (if you knew me real well, I tend to be a bit competetive toward the people that less appeal to me, heh)

(note: less appeal means those i streomindedly think which arbitrarily I feel a bit decline)

When it was my turn to present (the last one from my group), I was literally praying he didnt sit by and listen (well I didn't see him, so thank god). It went smoothly, in fact the Tutors were really quite impressed by my idea (they gave a lot of terms and title to go with it). The only thing they were disappointed was not be able to see the measured drawing (I didnt actually completed yet the work, but during presentation never ever points out your flaws!) After I became less nervous, I heard (and saw!) him asking what was my concept again (his lec: Obsession within an obsession). (He was there the entire time, and sitting next to the tutors) Aww, mann!! (>///<)
I didnt stick around to wait and listen for his turn, went back quickly with the glad-that-was-over feeling.

Before I knew it new term started, and by strange chance for the group project of Sustainable Construction we end up in the same group. The session, where each group have to gather (atleast meet to know who's who) at a different part of the seating (It's in the lecture hall, where you have the long-stretched chair in stair-like sequence). My group was to meet at the 3rd/4th/5th row of the seating area (anyway, I was at one of the top rows so I can see clearly). "e.he.he.he yeah, he's there."
I'm reluctant (the only seat available was at his left), and what was worst I didn't see any female yet in my group. I rather skip the session, well after my fren saw there was a girl in her group she coaxed (more like command, like how an older sister/mother command) me to go to my group. So I drag myself towards them.

Rambut tebal: are you in the group?

me : yeah n_n (frenly smile------>turned on my charming mode)

...still waiting for more people to come... ('-') (^-^)( _ )( _ )( _ )

Rambut tebal : so how was comic project comin along?

(woah, that surprised me I didnt expected him to know me, let alone remembers my work)

I answered something like it's gud bla bla, and he start asking questions bout lec and results on visual studies etc (out of courtesy, I asked bout him)

Amidst the talking and get to know each member, oiy of nowhere they elected me as the group leader

"Huh?! You can't be serious??..Is it because I am the only girl??"

They chuckled and gave random reasons.
I shook my head adamantly.

Rambut tebal : Dun worry, I'll help too...

(I dun remember when, but he kept on touching my shoulder, like how my lec does)

"wut the heck? womanizer~"LOL

Ufufufufuf, from there we became frenly (for quite a time I called him that in my head, cause he like to touch and when talking to him he would be soooo close)

He likes to ask how my works are goin and he is enthuasism in architecture, purely optimistic in life, he goes by his own way, think the weather in malaysia is similar to india, he genuinely interested in my ideas, his creativity is passionately-driven, possess amiable quality. ^^

I dont know when, but I like tuesday.

Monday, 12 January 2009

I'm sorry

The 3 most important frens in my life rite now, namy, mii, nul-pyon. I love you guys and I'm sorry haven't contact you, I'll always cherish our bonds.

Tuesday, 6 January 2009

Mind yuuuuu!

Looking at my archive I realize I'm reaaaaaallllllyyyyy a lazy person to update stuff -how's that relate? heh-

Anyway, I just came up with a solution=

I'll write according to the number of each months. So it would be like...

January = 1 post, Feb = 2 posts, March = 3 posts and so on.

This would be like "Azam tahun baru" kekekkekekkeekkeke I havent done that as an essay for yearss!

I doubt it would last in a couple of months. (=_______=

My current Playlist