My old stuff

I will give You my first love~

Rumagging through Azu-chan deviantart made me reminisced on how I was once really in love with drawing and creating my own kingdom... (and I still am in love with drawings, but the joys I was feeling is diminishing)... well it's not really diminishing,rather it's disappearing... I still remember vividly how an -call it whatever you like- inspiration hit me...
I'm not sure how to put it... it feels like you're in an ethereal forest, the smells of fresh morning trees, the voices of the forest maze,
or looking up at the bluest bright sky when standing on a freelance pirate's ship, going on a voyage in 17's or 19's century, the sound of seagulls and the song of the seawaves...vague but certain... The feeling of searching but without a track...

I've lived in fantasies, it gave me a sense of living and.... longing. It satisfied me but at the same time made me want more. It's like when I'm being greedy when reading a certain book or gazing at an art, trying to remember all the lines, textures, colours, emotions... They telling me their story...How I wish to go back to those time.

Here, I speak my oath, someday when I finally blessed with the return of my solitary, I'll tell my story through arts.

1,2,3....

Just finish washing my hair~~ hehehe. Thank God I didnt bump into those friends of mine who are cultivating the room of 136,137,139,140. They will act surprise and tease me about showering for the 2nd time of the day..hmmph!

Anyway, today I feel like it has been strectched longer than usual. I was sure that on btq class my group wont be presenting the last topic yet. It was kimi's group who presented the second last topic for today class. So I told t-qah, if there were a possiblity that our group would atleast present the first sub-topic, I'll buy some time by asking a lot of questions and make an expression "I'm too slow to understand and need further examples" during the q&a session. I didnt expect that most of us are seizing the answers to everyone questions. It was funny! when kimi n his members gave the look "ask one more and you're dead!" and everyone ignored the look and kept on asking questions (it was amusing). Eventually my first prediction was right, our group were never in danger of presenting to begin with heh.

Silent Memory

This was first developed like 2 to 3 years ago... My first poem which based on nuff knowledge of mine aha.

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I had a dream
It all began when
my fear compelled me to run away from darkness
my grieveness compelled me to run away from myself
...........................................................................

When reality was harsh
Dream would be my escape
...........................................................................

I want to forget the painful event
I want to forget the slapping rejections
I want to forget the broken feeling
but...
What I most wanted is someone to look for me,
when I shut myself out
...........................................................................

Dream has became my wish, my longing...
my answer.
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Your voice made me lookup
Your generous hand made me reach up
Your gentle caress soothed my fear
Your warmth embrace made me feel protected
...........................................................................

I wish it would be endless
I wish it could be clearer
I wish to see you more
...........................................................................

So I searched for any shred that reminded me of you
But...
...........................................................................

'You are what you are.'
Same as for dream
Illusion couldn't replace reality
then...
...........................................................................

Your presence became less each passing sleeps
You were disappearing
I realized the reason you've vanished
is because I've betrayed you
All because of my selfish need for you more.
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I tried to search for you
I did many things
I called, I pleaded, I waited,
Sometime I found you but
when I tried to reach you,
Either you were immediately gone or
it was never really you
You never did appear again.
...........................................................................

I remember vividly the first time you came to me...
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(author's note: when I read back, it's suxxxxx!!! >_<)

uh.

A first suscitate blogpost should always bring forth an exultation from the master--->( i like the sound of that heh) ......cough...... huh? Alas, after much persuasion from a persistent, surprisingly (I might add) willing unpaid harasser sister of mine..... my humble blog is created.

the end.


(author's note: this is the place I will put aside my dignity and complaint as much as I want, so there, dear sista! kekkekekekekke)